During the parenting process, while spending time with your child or watching them play with their toys with curiosity, you may sometimes find yourself asking, "What did my child learn from this game?" This question might linger in the back of your mind while building towers together, lining up cars, or doodling on paper. Because play is often seen as a tool. Therefore, it is expected to teach, develop, and contribute to the child's development.
But sometimes we need to stop and ask ourselves: Is the main purpose of play to teach, or to be together? Let's examine the importance of play for child development from a different perspective—that is, from the children's perspective.
The Importance of Play for Children
As a parent, play might be seen as a means of having fun or teaching your child new skills. However, for children, play isn't just a planned activity; it's their language, their form of expression, and their way of understanding the world. Because when a child plays, they don't just have fun. They regulate their emotions, learn about their bodies, and try to communicate.
UNICEF defines play as one of the fundamental building blocks of children's social, emotional, and cognitive development. Moreover, this development occurs not through special toys or prolonged activities, but through moments of play interspersed throughout daily life.
For a child, feeling safe during play, being allowed to make mistakes, and experimenting without guidance is as valuable as the play itself. Because such a play process actually sends the message to the child, "I am accepted as I am right now."
As a parent, how do you view gaming?
Playing games together can evoke mixed feelings for many parents. On one hand, there are the joyful moments; on the other, the time pressure, the to-do list, and the question, "Am I doing it right?" Because of this, games can sometimes feel like a chore.
As a parent, you might think that games should be educational, contribute to development, and even be productive. However, this expectation can unknowingly overshadow the naturalness of play. Yet, the most valuable aspect of playing with your child isn't what they learn, but your presence. Even a few minutes where phones are put aside and attention is truly shared can be a powerful bonding moment for a child. These moments, which the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) defines as "special playtime," help children feel safe and valued. So, what exactly is special playtime?
Why is it important to create special playtime with your child?
Dedicated playtime is actually an opportunity to focus on your child's behavior and build a strong, nurturing relationship. Moreover, dedicated playtime doesn't have to be long and planned, because it's not the duration that matters, but the intention. Even just 10 minutes a day, where your child directs the play and you simply participate, can nurture your relationship.
However, at these moments, it's helpful to pay attention to the following details regarding your approach to playing the game:
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Your child chooses the game.
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He sets the rules.
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You don't try to teach.
Because this approach creates a free space, allowing the child to feel, "They see me as I am." This allows children to express themselves more comfortably and confidently. Remember, as highlighted in studies by the American Academy of Pediatrics on the role of play in child development, clear and directive instructions given during play can prevent a child from exploring their own path.
We can explain this in the simplest way by thinking of a child discovering a toy for the first time. Showing the child how the toy works from the beginning might reduce their desire to try different possibilities with that toy. Conversely, when a child is given the opportunity to explore the toy on their own without intervention, they learn how things work through trial and error. In this process, they experience not only the result but also the journey.
Should games only be educational?
As the importance of play from a child's perspective shows, games that are fun for children can also be educational. This is because learning is most lasting in an environment of safety and enjoyment. Therefore, a child may become more willing to learn when they feel no pressure, are curious, and want to repeat the process.
For example;
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Scribbling with a pen doesn't teach you to write, but it prepares the hand.
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Stacking blocks doesn't teach mathematics, but it supports problem-solving skills.
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Playing with playdough together doesn't teach shapes, but it improves hand strength.
In short, what matters here are the adult expectations we place on the game. From a child's perspective, the game is already meaningful enough.
In parenting, you don't have to make every moment productive. Not every game needs a specific outcome. Sometimes, simply laughing together or playing the same game repeatedly is enough. Remember, the moments you spend together while playing with your child are what stick in their memory. Therefore, your child will remember the moment more for how they felt than for what they learned.
If you'd like to discover different games to create new memories with your child, you can visit our "Activities" page.
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